1. He who smells
You’d rather sleep under the stars than share tent with him. There a rainbow of body odour that you wish you never had to know a human could produce.
2. He who talks to much
Not only does he scare away any wildlife there might be in the surroundings. He also makes you wanna hit him in the face. Hard.
You don’t want to hear someone complaing of his job situation, and over-repetedly analyzing the wonderful surroundings comenting on every hilltop and chatting on about everything and nothing.
3. He who pees in front of you
Please guys just take a few more steps away from the trail and find a private spot. All things are not better natural. I preffer not to see it and not to hear the sound of you natural business. And please wash your hands afterwards.
4. He who brags to much
You know that guy who has loads of self centered stories of himself hiking 40 kilometers a day, gaining no sleep, not stopping for lunch break and who run a marathon before breakfast.
I’m just not into that! Give me a break and let’s make out in the sunset falling on the hillside.
5. He who is obsessively tech-savvy
That guy who has the latest gear of everything. For example a t-shirt wit an integrated heart rate monitor, a watch with GPS and weather forecast and a solar charger attatched to the backpack.
Well let’s just sum this guy up with – There will be more time spent securing tomorrows recharged batteries than there will be time to loose yourself in eatch others arms.
6. He who always gives you advice – Advice you don’t need
Just because I am a woman that does not equal that I do not know how to take care of myself, select hiking gear, take care of my blisters, use the camping stove or put up my tent. Do not make the mistake du underestimate your female comrade.
7. He who stares at you uncomfortable
You know that obsessed stare from someone who do not know that you know that he stares at you. And even worse – he who won´t look away when you confront him with staring back.
Jut give me some space please. Creepy guys are creepy in any urban environment – but outdoors that kind of behaviour is even creepier. I can promise you that this move will makes any female stay far, far away.
8. He who just can´t stop hitting on you
Smooth talk can be nice. But you do not want to be TO clear. And a woman definetely don’t want to repetedly be forced to turn you down. He who waits…
9. He who walks to fast
This is just the rudest thing anyone can do on the trail. If you go hiking together there is a silent understanding that you are completing the trail together, sharing ups and downs, encouraging eachother to make it.
But there is NOT a question of pushing the partner to the extent that it results in that one partner has to run to keep up – risking exautsion, stressing the joints and feeling overwhelmed of not being enough.
10. He who has no surprises
Let me just put it this way; At least bring some extra chocolate and a bottle of wine in your backpack.